Campsites are like a box of chocolates. Except half the chocolates are melted, one is filled with hot sauce and you’re pretty sure someone already licked a few. Whether you’re a seasoned overlander or a weekend warrior, you’ve undoubtedly crossed paths with more than a few unforgettable campsite characters. Go ahead, let us know which one you identify as, tell us who we missed and tag your friend who you know is one of the below.
The Zombie Apocalypse Prepper
This person is ready. Not for a weekend getaway, but for the end of the world as we know it. Their rig looks like it was designed by a Hollywood prop master for a new Mad Max sequel. They’ve got enough solar panels to power a small city, a water filtration system that could turn a swamp into Evian, and enough baked beans to feed a battalion.
You’ll find them pacing the perimeter of their campsite, muttering about “being prepared” while sharpening the pointy end of a stick. They’ll offer you tips on surviving a bear attack, even if you’re in a desert. And don’t even think about asking to borrow their satellite phone. That’s for “emergencies only” (like when the Wi-Fi goes out).
The “Overlanding is a Scam” Skeptic
This person rolled into the campsite in a 1998 Toyota Camry with a sleeping bag in the boot, a plastic packet of gas station supplies and a chip on their shoulder. They’re convinced that overlanding is just a fancy word for “camping with a credit card.” They’ll loudly question why anyone would spend money on a roof-top tent when “the ground is free.”
They’ll regale you with stories of their “real adventures, man…” like that time they slept in a Walmart parking lot and lived to tell the tale. But deep down, you know they’re just jealous of your setup. And honestly, they should be.
The All The Gear and No Idea
This camper has the latest and greatest gear, but unfortunately, they have no friggin clue how to use it. Their rig is a rolling advertisement for several big retailers, but you’ll find them struggling to set up their awning or watch bemused as they accidentally deploy their roof-top tent upside down.
They’ll ask you for help starting their portable grill, only to reveal that the gas canister is empty. And don’t be surprised if they show up at your campsite at midnight because they can’t figure out how to turn off their LED light bar.
And that one time you actually needed the spade that’s been locked to the side of their truck since the day they bought it? They couldn’t find the key… Bless their heart.
The Parking Lot Princess
This camper brags that they don’t do camping, they’re glampers. Their spotless 4×4 is tricked out with every luxury imaginable: a built-in espresso machine, a chandelier in the roof-top tent and a sound system that could rival Coachella.
They’ll spend more time arranging their fairy lights and fluffing pillows than actually exploring outdoors. And if there’s even a hint of mud or dust, they’ll be out there with a microfiber cloth, frantically wiping down their rig. Good thing then that they never travel further than the most commercialised campsite. Anything off grid would have them break out the vacuum cleaner.
The Influencer
This character is here for the ‘gram. They think nature lacks resolution and the graphics could never compete with the 4k that they document their life in. They’ll spend hours staging the perfect photo of their artisanal coffee cup perched on a rock, with their sponsored setup artfully blurred in the background.
Their life is a Pinterest board, complete with a perfectly draped Navajo blanket, a strategically placed pair of binoculars and a Marshall speaker.
You were secretly thrilled when they finally invested in a tripod, because you no longer had to take 47 photos of them. Still, don’t be surprised if they start filming a TikTok dance in the middle of the trail and then blame you for photobombing their shot.
The Retired Couple
Ah, the veterans of the campsite. This duo has been everywhere, done everything and have the stickers on their rig to prove it. Their vehicle is, like them, vintage, and a well-loved, slightly dusty testament to decades of adventure. They’ll greet you with a warm smile and a plate of freshly baked cookies, then casually mention how they’re revisiting every national park in the country as part of a book project they’re working on.
They’ve got a story for every occasion, from the time they outran a bear in Yellowstone to the night they slept through a hailstorm in the Rockies. You’ll leave their campsite feeling inspired, slightly inadequate and very full of cookies.